Truly All The Feels

I finally got a chance to walk, somewhere other than around my apartment and my apartment building.

Ankle is feeling really good and giving all praise for healing to God. Healing was swift, recovery from the boot even more swift. So much so my orthopedic surgeon didn't believe me when I told her that I no longer had pain. She said it was too soon. I said, "Well that's my Healer."

So walking outside, in the fresh air, as such can be fresh in L.A., and the sunshine felt so wonderful. I had my music on and though I didn't go hog wild with speed walking I felt the spring in my step.

Came home with the music still playing and danced around a bit, yep, as if no one was watching.

I felt this tremendous amount of glee. It. Just. Felt. Good.

Then it hit me.

"Oh crap! I have cancer."

I didn't immediately wither but my full body dance move turned into a calculated, slow two step.

Side to side. Side to side.

But it was okay. I gave myself permission to feel what I needed to feel when I needed to feel it.

And it was okay.

I kinda felt like, "How dare I be gleeful in the middle of this battle. The nerve."

I kinda felt like, "How is it possible that I could forget such a thing."

I kinda felt like, "I don't want this. I don't want to deal with this!"

Yes, my faith in Jesus is strong and I know where my trust lies, but oh crap!

Sometimes, we human folk, especially women, with our warrior and Rosie The Riveter powers, we tend to forget that it's okay to feel things.

We can be sad if we want to. Sometimes I do the Hollywood cry while in bed.

It's okay.

We can be mad if we want to. Sometimes I do a Hollywood silent scream

It's okay.

We can give our trials attitude. Sometimes I give cancer the Hollywood side eye roll.

It's okay.

When we go through any trials of life, it's okay to feel it and let your mind seize the moment so you can move forward.

The point is, to move forward, to not stay there, to keep moving.

And if need be, put on some music and dance!