The Treatment After The Treatment

There is a routine of care given to me by my oncology team consisting of my daily and nightly skin regime, nutrition, medicine, (yuck!), and exercise.

Hormone Therapy

Next week I begin hormone therapy. Which is good but the side effects are going to kick me right back into menopausal symptoms. Been there, done that, not really want to do it again, but for the sake of cancer prevention I'm all in!

Some types of breast cancer are affected by hormones, like estrogen. This was the type I had. The breast cancer cells have proteins that attach to estrogen, which helps them grow. The hormone therapy that I will begin lowers my estrogen levels in order to prevent any lingering proteins from attaching to the hormone.

Hormone therapy can reach cancer cells almost anywhere in the body and not just in the breast. This is the normal course of action to take after surgery and after radiation. We are moving into the preventive stage. Whatever can be done to prevent the cancer cells from reoccurring.

Bone Density

Last Friday I had my BMD test. Bone Mineral Density test. Because radiation and hormone therapy affect a woman's bone density it's very important to get screened for any signs of osteoporosis.

I thank God that my scores are low, categorized as osteopenia, I do not need medication, I basically need to up my fitness game.

Having to give up driving due to vision issues on my right eye from the excavation of the brain tumor in my orbits area, was a blessing. I already walk everywhere. And living in an area where so many things are in walking distance, this form of exercise suits me well.

I need to incorporate more strength training into my daily workout. Not a problem really because I have the equipment at home and once my upper body heals, I have my neighbor Robert ready to train me with some more centralized routines.

My problem is I need to do it! Not haphazardly, only when I feel like it, I need to just do it. Regularly!!

My former boyfriend is a personal trainer. We were together for four years and during that four years when we would be home watching sports or something on television, I would watch him workout during commercials. From the couch. Not him, me from the couch.

Whether it was a two plus hour game or an hour tv drama or even a half hour sitcom, between the commercials he would do pushups and crunches. I would lose count but he would keep track in his fitness journal.

I hope someone gets inspired by this, because just remembering it inspires me.

I enjoy watching trivia games on The Game Show Network, as well as Jeopardy! And so I begin. Starting small, with a game show.

During the commercials I pick up the bands or the weights and I track my sets.

Sometimes though a favorite commercial will come on and I find myself just sitting on the floor watching it.

Baby steps.

Meanwhile, my doctor suggested that I can also use ankle weights which help with weight bearing exercises such as walking. So I purchased a pair to wear around the house. Doing laundry, cleaning, going to get the mail, etc. Those kind of tasks to start off with until my body gets use to them then I'll add them to my exercise walks. They're pretty comfortable.

Nutrition

I am not normally a bad eater. My diet is pretty good. I love vegetables and fruit. Yes, I occasionally eat red meat, I like a good steak with tomatoes. The problem would be if I ate a steak every day, for lunch and dinner. I also, eat fish, and poultry. I like good food prepared in healthy ways. I love, love to cook with fresh herbs and seasonings. Even dining out can be healthy, it's all about the choices.

I have smoothies almost every other day and now that the commissary at work has a smoothie bar I'm not restricted to having them only at home.

Oh and one of my other favorites, which most people hate and many consider a poor man's food, is sardines packed in water. Oh my gosh, delicious. I love sardines.

Now with the bone density being affected by the radiation and hormone treatments, calcium plays an important role in strengthening my bones. Well no problem there, though I haven't drank cow's milk in thirty years, I do LOVE me some cheese! I eat some form or kind of cheese every day. Plus I'm a fan of Greek yogurt in and out of my smoothies. So The dairy I think I have covered.

My biggest problem, my huge downfall, is snacking. I like to snack late at night.

Baby steps on that too.

I've been accused, not maliciously mind you, of handling this diagnosis too softly.

Cancer is a dirty word for sure. Let's be real here. It's a killer.

It's scary.

It's unpredictable.

It's concerning.

It's uncertain.

Overall it's a mind f***!

Being told that this was in my body was absolutely not an easy thing to hear.

During every appointment with each of the three oncologists I was asked, "How are you doing?"

Not, "How are you feeling.", but "How are you doing?" And they would follow it up with, "How are your thoughts?"

There are so many different kinds of cancer, there are so many different levels of those different kinds of cancer, there are so many different stages of the different levels of the different kinds of cancer.

Then you add the different kinds of bodies of the human beings that get cancer, what you end up with is...

So many different kinds of people with many different kinds of bodies, different livelihoods and lifestyles, with different stages of the different levels of the different kinds of cancer.

And each of us will handle a cancer diagnosis, yes, differently!

The cancer I had was detected early through my yearly mammogram. It did not have a chance to wreck havoc on my health before my amazing team of female surgeons and nurses, extracted that bad boy from my body! Praise God!!

I didn't get sick. I was never ill. To some it's just a word and I get the compassion behind it, but I do tend to get an attitude when someone asks me in that sheepishly, sad tone, "How are you feeling?"

I retort that I am not sick, I feel fine! Being a breast cancer warrior my shield goes up whenever anyone comes at me with a "solemn and sad-oh you poor thing" kind of energy.

My mental capacity to handle a cancer diagnosis is grounded in my faith in Jesus. I walked through the valley with His rod and His staff comforting me.

My mental capacity to handle a cancer diagnosis is grounded in prayer and meditation. Reading God's word, praying, meditating, and speaking His word is what empowers me. This isn't about religion it is about relationship.

My mental wellness in handling a cancer diagnosis is helped by family and friends. Yet, unfortunately some mental anguish can have less to do with the diagnosis and more to do with the complex energy of others.

Someone told me, "Girl God keeps you on the battlefield." I snapped back, "No! He keeps me in perfect peace for the battle!"

Someone all of a sudden stop checking in on me, telling me she thought "she would give me time and let me be, until I felt like talking." What?! Going through something like this one needs their friends. What kind of friend would stop connecting in the middle of the journey, and admittingly just want to "leave me be" while going through something like this? That can absolutely affect a person's mental health while going through any kind of trial, but it didn't affect mine for long. With all the friends rallying around me supporting me and spending time with me and yes, checking in on me, negative energy is never wanted, so I'm okay with anyone who keeps their adverse attitudes and thoughts away and lets me be.

With all that said, does this mean that I'm so strong and empowered that it doesn't get me down? No not at all. I cry. I sit and stare at the same page in a book over and over. I lay on top of my bed with no music or tv and just think. Then I cry again. Those are human moments and I am human.

The mental toll that this can have on a person is real. But I am so grateful for Jesus in my life because honestly had this happened before I became born again, before 1995, I can say for certainty that I would not be treading this valley with as much faith and hope as I am.

God, Family. Friends. Self care. Walks. Writing. Drawing. Relaxing. GRATITUDE!

This is how I've been able to maintain a decent amount of mental stability through this.

And most recently, through the kindness of an entire department at work of people who didn't even know me. That's the human connection.

The treatment after treatments is just as important as the treatment while going through the treatments.

I am so, so thankful, and very grateful to those I have around me who lift me up and encourage me.

This is hard but they make it not so much.