I Am Not Alone

I remember when my mother was diagnosed with Sjogren's Syndrome. She was a divorcee, living in Ann Arbor, Michigan, her two daughters lived out of state, her mother and sister lived quite a distance from her in Detroit. She was in the doctor's office alone. Getting the news alone. Thankfully she was not alone going through the medical trial she went through. She had her family and her friends, even though there were thousands of miles between some of us, I thank God for her sister, my Aunt Lois, and her mother, my Grandmother Ethel, that helped support her and were there for her in all ways.

I was in my surgeon's and doctor's offices alone when I received the diagnosis' of having a brain tumor, then of being told the brain tumor was back, and then most recently being diagnosed with breast cancer.

I came home alone each time after receiving these reports.

Each time, each day, at home I was alone with my thoughts.

After the first brain surgery, after my friend left from staying with me, I was caring for myself.

After the second brain surgery, four days out of the hospital I was home caring for myself.

After the lumpectomy, returning from recuperating four days at a friend's home, I was home caring for myself.

This breast cancer journey carries a lot. Three different oncologists with multiple procedures and processes and tests and labs. My calendar is full. I've attended to this alone.

But I never went through these journeys by myself.

Both of my parents have passed, I'm currently single and have no children, yet I am blessed to have an amazing circle of friends. Most who have been with me through two brain surgeries and are traveling this breast cancer road with me as well.

Just as with the brain tumor discoveries, this breast tumor was no surprise to God. Before I was told I had cancer, He had already moved people in place to support me and to help me. And, yes, He had also moved some people around in order to make room for those with the right hearts and energy that I would need, even before I would know what I would need. He even brought forth an old friend, a former boyfriend who somehow got word of what was happening in my life and who has been such a supportive source for me.

Does it weigh on me sometimes going through this alone? I'm not a superwoman, yes sometimes it does. I miss being hugged by mother. I don't know what it feels like to have a child here helping me or assisting me or just hanging with me while I go through this. And currently being single, yeah, it would be nice to just lay in my man's arms, to have that kind of consolation.

I'm thankful though that those sometimes moments are far and few between. I owe that to the quality of my circle. I may be by myself, but I am not alone.

To those who think they are alone, you are not. Perhaps single, no children and maybe no family, going through something like breast cancer could very well make a woman feel alone or even lonely. Look at your circle. Your friends are there for you. Everyone who is supporting you and encouraging you is right where they are supposed to be. God made sure of it!